I found some statistics related to pancreatic tumors yesterday. I wish I had not looked and that search engine's were not so dang efficient. There are some studies which indicate that, if cancerous, and fully removed, that five years is about all you have left. Some are a little more generous than that. We also do not know for certain mine is cancerous, just likely headed in that direction. I may also be a rather unique lab rat in that it is very rare to discover tumors this small (t2). My brother asked me, because we can be very honest with each other, if I was afraid of dying? My answer; "Absolutely not". I will get to see Jesus before the rest of you, nananana! Just kidding, because as many wonderful things as we know about the afterlife, I am in no hurry to get there. I have a more and better personal relationship with Jesus than I ever have at any point in my life; far from perfect, just better. But... the better that relationship gets, the more things I realize I have to do and enjoy here. That is oxymoronic, but at least for me, is very true. I want to teach Lydia to play golf and dance with her at her wedding. I want to teach William to play golf and dance with his bride. And I have a whole bunch of dances left to perform with my beautiful bride. So, I know there is nothing here that many of you haven't thought or felt if you have faced or imagined dying. I was just surprised at the somewhat backward relationship between my feelings of closeness to God, but still in no hurry to meet Him and I would have thought that would be backwards, but I think He truly wants this to be a life that we cherish and love. That will be my lesson going forward for the next 5 or 50 years. I will have my bad days, but I will not forget that those are not what he planned for me or wants for me now!